A lullaby's song
by uzumakixhinata
Summary: Tsurara's POV. This is a dark fic and a bit poetic I guess.     "Until then, I would love him within the darkest corner of my decaying and rotting heart."


A/N : I wonder what's wrong with last night, I could not log-in. Anyway, here's my one-shot. I hope you enjoy it guys.

P.S - About my Disillusioned Flower, I decided to re rewrite it since you know, I think I made it a little bit too poetic and well, I think that I needed to tone it down . Gaah, I'm so sorry. The plot is still the same although I changed the scenes. I'll upload the chapters when I'm halfway through the story so that it won't have any mistakes anymore.

Disclaimer : I do not own Nura no Mago.

Warning : This doesn't have a happy ending. Read at your own risk.

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><p>Scattered Petals of Lullaby<p>

Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I just didn't care. Maybe it was both. Whichever was it, it could not have been other than my fault. This end of mine, I deserved it, no less, no more.

They said that falling in love was one of the best things that a person could ever come across with. I could not agree less with that. I fell in love with him and the feeling I had then can be likened to the sweet taste of a nectar. I felt heaven and I thought it was to go on forever, just like a fantasy that was bounded by nothing at all.

They all said that every love story had a happy ending. With naivety, I believed all of that. Or maybe, I just turned a blind eye on the reality that was strikingly clear for my own selfishness that corrupted the very air that I breathed.

How could a flower bloom when it bears no roots to start with? It just never did. It withers, it's the only fate that awaits to it.

My mother, she was a snow maiden that was an epitome of all that was icy, cold and frozen. Otome -sama, she was a beloved woman that was basked in ethereal beauty and her kindness exuded warmth. They were the yin and yang, and yet, both of them shed tears and blood for the love that penetrated to the depths of their hearts.

Häve they regretted it? Maybe they did, maybe they did not. Who knows?One thing was for sure, they both suffered because of the love they behold.

Have I regretted it? I guess I did.

He was kind, strong, dependable, humble, gorgeous - everything that a man could have and ever ask for and yet, he was the embodiment of a curse. He was a poison that had eaten away the very core of my söul.

Inadvertently, he made me fall for him - only to let me hit the bottom that crushed me to a fragmented wretch. It all happened, without him ever knowing of it. He never knew, and that's what dragged me to the depth of my despair and sorrow.

I loved him and I gave my heart to him. He loved me and yet, he did not give his heart to me. Wasn't there a law of equivalent trade? To my fate, I guess it wasn't a feasible case. The love I had for him was different form the love he had for me. What he felt for me, it was purely platonic, no more, no less. 

To him, I was only a friend, a subordinate, just another girl that would never be able to take possession of his already claimed heart,for he had already offered it to her with his eternal promise of love. He was forever hers and hers alone, and however much I despair for it and cry myself with tears of blood, I could never weave a lie that he had been mine even for just a second of my life.

They said that death could become your sanctuary if you needed refuge from the miseries that plagued your sanity. I wondered, was it really true or was it just a make-believe? I wanted to hold on that it was the reality since the beautiful flower of yamabuki seeked her solace on it. Like she did, I would gladly welcome death with a tight embrace.

Every words that escaped from my lips, it's not a lie, it's the truth of my desire. But to severe the thread of my life at this moment's time, I could not abide with that even if my body went raw at the yearning of its endless scream and cry.

Know why?

I didn't have to wait åny longer for it, I just knew to myself. I was rapidly crumbling inside, leaving a hollow, empty shell of me outside. I breathed, I talked, I smiled - everything I did, those were nothing but an automated response of my body, puppeted by my mind.

What had become of me, I could not blame it to him nor I could blame it to her. They were both innocent and I was the only one guilty of my own sin. I fell in love with him when in the first place, I knew it was not meant for someone like me.

Everything, it was my fault.

This could be my retribution for overstepping the line that I was forbidden to take foot on. I was presumptuous, I guess, being so young and in love. I believed what I wanted to believe and in the end, I found myself bleeding slowly to death.

I hated him and yet, I loved him.

It was true afterall, what they say that love and hatred was only separated by a thin line as these two emotions would always come hand in hand, an unbreakable bond shackling them together to become one.

I loved his smiles, I loved his laughter. Eventhough his delight can only be because of her, I still felt my chest swelling with affection that it almost choked me to my own tearful emotion.

Until the last of me fades into dust, I will stay behind his back as his loyal attendant that I was, I will protect him just liked what I vowed when I exchanged sakuzaki with him that night of full moon that tainted the sky red, I will watch him as his eyes lit up with happiness and a joy of laughter escapes his lips, I will admire him as he unites both of the worlds into one, a world that knows no war.

Until then, I would love him within the darkest corner of my decaying and rotting heart.  
>215/12


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